Entries from May 2013

the tryst….

May 20, 2013


like the hundreds of thousands of lawless, african honey bees who, with the discipline of an invading military, swarmed into tampa, florida, swaddling and engulfing two park rangers, the same could be said for our recent warm weather which has marched in and occupied southern california.

since thursday morning i’ve had a slight hiccup in my schedule which has been interrupted from the mob of jasmine teeming throughout the southland. the sweet aroma is such that i must stop where i am, shut both eyes, inhale and exhale, and always, although inadvertently, awaken with a smile on my face. 


after a spring as frigid as my high school years, the weekend’s summer-like, semi-hotness, was greeted like a true liberator from our recent and oppressive, burkha cardigan-wearing-required-weather.


saturday i took hunkiest back to my old neighborhood where years ago i stomped, angst’d, and pined over boys in ford ranger trucks and memorized every john michael montgomery lyric recorded.

 sadly the circumstances were for a memorial service, but it was great to see friends i have loved and worshiped for the last 33 years.

not much has changed; except now our laser focus locks on the toddler near the pool, and not how low the keg is getting. 

oh how priorities change.


but back to my love for wind-swaying palm trees; california i just can’t quit you.

lately there’s been rambling conversation about a different coast, a change of ocean. 

yet there’s something about the misty, pacific air, first thing in the morning, how its salty mingles with the smokiness of my morning coffee and curates the tiniest, little escape for me each day. 

i never go a day without hearing a seagull on my street, squawking happily at the pickets, telling us to wake up or move yer cars.

on the weekends the beasts get to walk down to pacific coast highway. we watch the boats in the bay, eat croissants {yes raquel} by the water, and say to each other at least twice “i can’t believe we get to live here.”

pardon me while i have a torrid tryst with my magnetic california.

radiohead at the top of our lungs……

May 17, 2013


we know i am depth-less. but when it comes to my taste in music, there is no basement.

the new avril lavigne jingle is no exception.

it’s a hard, foot-stomping beat, with dumb-downed, look-at-me-i’m-edgy-angry-and-say-the-F-word a lot lyrics.

my favorite “hook” is the ridiculous reference to radiohead.

give. me. a. break.

avril lavigne does not, nor has EVER listened to radiohead, not even the KISS FM hit “creep.” she’s way too lame.

i should know. i’m in the radiohead reject club too. it’s like their music is password protected for us uncool losers. but nice try avril.

 lyrics aside, the song is great, and has me throwing my hair and body straight in to chiropractic care.

see you on the dance floor m’loves.

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my girl’s “gift”–more vomit…

May 16, 2013

 the adventures of priscilla, queen of my world, continued last night. and yes, there was more vomit

although this time, it was my own.

in her effort to make penance for wednesday’s nocturnal puke party, {on. my. face.} my girl made amends the best way she knew how: mouse murder!

that’s right ladies and gentlemen, during the last hours of peaceful twilight, as i was trying to prolong my longevity and excavate my cloistered zen by beholding the sun take its final bow across the sky, littlest girl tried to add to my “moment” by bequeathing her evening kill, still quite warm and bloody, maybe even squirming, at the back door. 


priscilla now goes by the name O.J.

although the little, four-legged butcher didn’t even have the decency to wear isotoner gloves. 

my scream said enough. 

i didn’t share in her delight for freshly, slaughtered vermin, or maroon-stained back steps, affectionately now known as the “bundy drive” section of our house. 

she sat for the remainder of the evening on our bed staring at the wall in shame and embarrassment. 

in my opinion, a little humiliation never killed anyone. on the other hand, pointed canine cuspids {dog fangs} DO!


but voilà!

look at what a good night’s sleep can do to a girl! all the clichés: bright eyes, bushy tail, giant smile, telling the world that she’s open for business. literally…she can be kind of whorish sometimes. 

this is why i love having dogs so much. this beast is one hundred percent in the right here, right now!

she doesn’t dwell on what transpired yesterday, even if it was AMAZING, even if it sucked.

because what is in front of her is all that matters.

that is the gift she gives me every moment i’m with her.

look out world.

wishing you a second to second day m’loves.

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