total recall

January 27, 2012

20/20 vision, yet sometimes it feels as if i spent my day in a blindfold.

as i fall asleep and recount the past ups and downs {mostly ups}, i can only vaguely recollect various moments, it’s a skim and scan at best.

a veil of vaseline, smudges over details, conversations, occasions of grandeur, and bits of wild.

this makes me sad.

i want sparkling, clear, crystal memories; an evian water retrospection of my day.

breathing full life into my present moments, i’m terrific in the now and here, but forgetaboutit at the closing bell….

i was chatting with a sage friend about my predicament, hoping for a tonic of wisdom to imbibe, and flood my cells with intuition and sense……instead she said i was just getting old.

so tell me m’loves….is this happening to you too. are your memories razor-sharp or are they more monet, impressionistic like: pretty, blurry, nice to recall, but don’t put you on the witness stand…..

  • Enjoy those vaseline moments while you can. I'm nearly 50 and it's hydrocortizone vision. Plus I wake up with hangover eyes every morning even when I don't drink (sorry to be so scary on a friday)

  • this is a beautiful post even though it's frustrating when life goes by and all your memories of the past just keep getting more and more distant. i've been thinking a lot about memories lately too actually. i've been thinking of my grandpa and it's weird to think that my memories with him are just that: memories. they will never become more vivid and more clear as they are memories that become more and more distant with each passing day. but maybe, to keep them as vivid and like you said sparkling as we remember them, it takes work. like journaling and writing and recounting as much detail as you can? i wish i had the answers! but, vague memories that should be clear and tangible are totally on my mind lately!

  • i have been blessed with a quite good memory… sometimes it's not as good because i even remember the bad moments but they help me out on the lessons i've learned

  • honestly i'm happy you mentioned this as i was thinking perhaps i needed to make a dr's apptment to get the memory checked out…met up with 2 college friends on tuesday and couldn't recall any of the things they were mentioning (that involved me) from the last 10 yrs, mostly when i was running my company and frazzled. but earlier in the day we had talked about the moment we met, when i was 15 yrs old and we both remembered it as clearly as yesterday. funny how the mind works. it made me realize that the most important moments in life i do keep and that {as all the old people are always saying}…the rest goes by in a blur!
    xo mary jo

  • Horrible memory, always have. Makes me sad too…

  • Omg, Katie….you are just a gem, ya know? What a way with words….truly. And it isn't JUST you at all….I think everyone experiences that eventually. I read somewhere that your memory only has a certain space to retain and so some thing get crowded out to make room for the new. I am with you though….I want it all to remain crystal clear. sigh….

  • Lately, they're all a blur. I don't feel like I'm in my life right now. And I'm not sure how to fight that yet.

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