Entries from June 2013

my public safety service day

June 28, 2013

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so my who-ville knots have become not just a professional necessity, they’re also the perfect apparati to keep errant fly-aways out of my microphone and mouth. yet, of late, they’ve become a more permanent fixture on my “crown” due to their concierge capabilities for long-term dirt, bugs, and poorly aimed food.

 although this monsoon of mess has been growing into more of a public safety issue week by week as i forget to wash, cut, and comb anything scalp related.

  tuesday morning when i heard one of my knots “moo” i was forced to call in the experts.. 


yesterday i played frogger up and down the 405 freeway as i leaped my way up to vito esposito aka mad genius. he’s responsible for the gorgeous locks of two of my favorite heads of hair: jaclyn smith and maria shriver.

i found vito on the recommendation of my always in the know friend, mary jo matsumoto.

mary jo has exquisite hair, and insisted i see vito after months of hearing me groan about the unhappy state of my stressed out hair. 


vito’s salon is a gorgeous italian oasis bunked out in the heart of beverly hills.

perched directly over rodeo drive, it’s best to arrive early to enjoy the quiet, peaceful sunlit sanctuary where the cappuccino and limoncello is as good as the ones you get in milan, and are served with a smile from handsome men in dark shades.

unlike every single l.a. salon i’ve ever tried {even loved} vito esposito is free of attitude, ego and hollywood pretense. i truly feel as if i’m on a mini-italian vacation each time i visit.


adding to the tranquil ambience is the best hair wash on the planet. on my first visit, the twenty minute, out of body affair i had with the shampoo girl, had me rethinking my opinions on polygamy; suddenly i was weighing the pros & cons of picking me up a nice, italian speaking, head-massaging sister wife for back home.

alas, my future signora wasn’t there yesterday, but vito {VERY married ladies} managed to replicate celestial experience.


here is the magician, hard at work, cutting away my fleas and ticks, finding in that nest of madness, some shape and style.


i’ve faced the fact that i’ll never fulfill that lifelong dream of being kelly garrett. charlie will never say “good job angel” to me over a white, radio shack, desk speaker.

but now that i have found vito esposito, my crime fighting arsenal now has more layers, body and shine. 

thank you vito. women and children are once again safe to roam the streets and orange county pilates studios without fear of bug infestation and toxicity.

the vito esposito salon is located at 308 n. rodeo drive in beverly hills, ca

their phone number is {310} 278 9098.

let’s get NAKED & TOASTED!

June 25, 2013


i can’t contain my secret anymore. these 3 urban decay products, courtesy of my beloved and dearest friend, john p., are causing me to bounce up and down like a cracked out cricket, very similar to the way john and i spaz out on our spin bikes anytime a ke$ha song comes on….COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!” 

the new naked 2 palette has 12 of the dopest taupes you’ll ever need for your eyes. truly the last eyeshadow case you’ll ever buy. these shades let you play up any look in makeup artist playbook: you can go uber-natural, glamour-girl pretty, or super hooker sexy. 

and no mom, this is NOT my hooker look. 

this is the first eyeshadow palette where i actually use every single shade in the compact. 



another new weapon in my arsenal to fight father time and his personal wrinkle war on my face is urban decay’s naked skin beauty balm. oil-free, with Pepha®-Protect to shield skin from dna damage, this tube of wonder also contains vitasource™ and dGlyage® which both protect and benefit the skin’s texture, elasticity, and provide anti-aging properties.

um? sign me up for auto-ship please.

AND….AND….AND…the best part: this stuff has these “optical blurring pigments” that makes you look like you’ve been photo-shopped, but in a not wearing tons of makeup way. you put this on your face, and it’s like an amazing james cameron movie; suddenly your pores and freckles and lines have been pixelated over. 


when it comes to bronzer i am the BIGGEST snob. i’ll admit it. i judge you by how you treat your waiter and what kind of bronzer you wear. 

it’s not that a bronzer needs to be a certain brand or price-i don’t think it matters, what counts is the color-and, in my opinion, most bronzers suck.

99% of the bronzers should be pulled off the shelves or at least re-marketed as face paint, tribal markings, and or tattoos. 

i was shocked, SHOCKED i tell you, to discover urban decay’s baked bronzer in toasted, that is their matte finish version, to be a lovely, natural golden glow. just a little is all you need, and it’s the perfect copper tone {literally} circa 1984 before we all knew better and were sunning our faces with ban de soleil and tin foil.

so there you have it…..my three summer pick me ups…

tuesday happy to you.

love you john! 

the circus came to town….

June 24, 2013

it was a bottoms and thumb’s up weekend. fo’sho.

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my new favorite mocktail of freshly squeezed lime and grapefruit juice, spritzed with equal parts soda water, kept me bubbling and effervescent all friday and saturday night. 


and although the super moon stole the sun’s atmospheric thunder, we still made time to mosey down to the beach for a sunday stroll with our ill-behaved beasts. 


i officially had my world rocked on saturday night with the introduction of animal circus cookie ice cream. no fooling. real circus animal cookies, the ones with the pink and white icing, lovingly dotted with rainbow sprinkles-the kind we adored as kids, but now, make sweet, sleazy, clandestine love to, as adults.

once i turned thirty, rainbow sprinkles suddenly seemed dirty and unscrupulous; i felt i had to hide my wanton relationship to all things candy-colored and bubble-gum flavored—which pretty much meant my whole identity was shot. 

i made an exception saturday night at our local thrifty ice cream. 

my plastic, white spoon and i lovers’ laned it with two scoops of pink and white sweetness. if we were a cable t.v. show, we’d definitely be cinemax after dark: “emanuelle eats ice cream.” 


and look. 

not even 24 hours later and that cup of circus delight shows up right there on my chin…or rather chin {s}. 

hashtag: supermoonface

luckily i can only buy this flavor in-store; none of that mindlessly, mowing down pint after pint, while watching “the good wife” activity that i so enjoy. 

 BUT! the freezer is stocked with jeni’s and talenti for those evenings.

i have such a hard time saying “no” to ice cream.

did you know that chicago actually has world renowned ice cream tasting tours, just like napa valley has wine-tasting tours? give me a scoop over a stem any day. 

i’d still hire a designated driver for both though. 

if you had the choice between ice cream and wine, which would you choose? 

monday happy to you m’loves.

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