scared to color outside the lines

April 14, 2010

i’m watching the pacific. to say it rivets me is an understatement.

hh and i are rendered speechless each episode.

every scene shakes me.

i still can’t get the conversation out of my head where the hardened, jaded marine questions the fresh recruit about god:

YouTube Preview Image

hearing those words made me feel a little less alone.

i like to think i’m an intelligent girl. i can work out most of my sticky situations. yet when it comes to war and these “enemies” i supposedly have all over the world, i’m a 4 year old needing tracing paper.

i don’t pray. but at night as i fall asleep i try to send love out to someone in the world who doesn’t know me, but hates me. hates me because of where i live, what i look like, because of what i do or do not believe in.

it was something i started around 9/11; to help me combat my confusion and anger. now it’s just become a ritual i have to do. like brushing my teeth.

it’s silly, i know. kind of weirdo-ish too. i’m not changing the world. i’m just not letting hate and ugliness own my tiny katie kingdom.

  • I don't think it's strange, there's a buddhist prayer that's pretty much the same sentiments as yours (I used to practice it every day but forgot–how lame–but now that I remember you inspire me to do it again)–anyway, I think you would fall into the category of evolved not weird!


  • Not weirdo-ish. It's sweet. I think we forget to have moments like that with ourselves when rushing through daily life. I will have to tell my hubs about the pacific. Looks interesting.

    PS. I am very excited about our meeting up next Thursday – are you guys still going to be able to make it?


  • Katie…I think that you're little "prayer" to the haters is perfect. We should all do it.
    I LOVE THAT SHOW! The opening credits with the charcoal drawings coming to life is amazing. I don't like it as much as I liked Band of Brothers (if you haven't seen it….fly to the video store right now and rent it!!!)…but it's still really riveting.

  • amazing.

  • oh, my sweet katie.

    you are so lovely and kind. and not weird-o-ish at all. in fact, i think what you do before bed *is* praying.

    don't ever stop doing it.


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