Am I in Hollister or J.Crew?

November 3, 2009

Christmas in November!!! Yippee Skippy!! So i made my way to J.Crew; newly discovered credit in hand, drool catching bib around neck. Decisions! Decisions! As you’ll see I was obviously in an accessorizing mood. There’s only so much I can do with black yoga pants and a tank these days.

My shopping experience was almost perfect…………Since when are they hiring pre-pubescents at J.Crew? or better yet, when did I become an adult, buying clothes on my own, without my mom?

J.Crew always has the chicest (translation=older than me) bevy of fashionsitas working the store, gussying me up into that second dappled dot cardigan, or convincing me that my life is not complete without the La Plume satin peep toe. They know better than I do because they’re older and more mature. The J.Crew saleswomen are supposed to be more high feathered than me, have stretch marks, and be able to tell me where they were when Kennedy was shot, etc. My fashion insecurity knows no bounds; I need that assurance that can only come with fine lines and wrinkles. What’s worse was their feigned ignorance at our giant age difference!?!??! “Molly”, spunky as she was, was still WAY TOO YOUNG to be calling me ‘honey.” Molly, not only am I’m old enough to have nursed you;  I’m also old enough to have taken you in during YOUR unplanned, teen pregnancy. You should not be calling ME “honey.” It’s the first time in my life I actually would have preferred “Maam.” This new brood consisting of unversed, over eager, baby chicks needs to learn their place in the pecking order. Until this waterloo is amended, it’s Jcrew.com baby.

All was not lost though; thank god for things sparkly and shiny!!! My attention was easily diverted from the High School Musical II scene on the floor to the jewelry case. Here’s a glimpse of some of my treats!!

erez

Infinity Earrings

erez-2

Superskinny Satin Belt

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Textured jersey ruched V-neck tee

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Yummy Lavender Bauble-ness

 

  • When the butt crack showing little girls @ Abercrombie referred to me as "some lady" a few years back, I wanted to D-I-E. Bitches.

  • love those earrings! pretty pretty.

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