I have a feeling that’s what I’m about to become people. And I’m totally fine with it. Let me explain.

The d-bag factor in Orange County is extreme. I have to be tip toe light, lest i step in the way of  your canary yellow H2 Hummer, as you drive adorned in your storm rider, True Religion, boot cut jeans in a deep shade of “body rinse,” with your painted on Buffalo graphic, rock star rivet, long-sleeve tee, and obligatory (thank you John) Ed Hardy hoodie. Costumed up like this, you guys merely waste time driving around Newport at two in the afternoon on a Wednesday afternoon, smoking cigarettes and blaring Nickelback. Except for when you, oh so mannerly, turn the volume down trying to get girls’ cell phone numbers at stop lights (cuz that works.) And you always seem to end up at cougar den Javier’s so you can have an audience to see you bark “park my baby up front.” (I swear to god, EVERYTIME i go there some jack-ass says this to one of the hardworking valets.)

Don’t these men know they scream: “Look at me!!!! Look at me!!!! Over here!!!! Over here!!! I’m absolutely TERRIBLE in BED!!!”?

What’s sad is this is the standard here. Apparently, I’m the snarky biznatch with no sense of humor or taste. So when I do find those rare, fetching fellows like my love, Marcos Prolo, I hold on for dear life and cherish every knook and cranny of time spent together. Yesterday, we were able to play work together on a shoot for Avia shoes. It will be his last anonymous day. Tonight he premieres, and I want you all to watch and fall in love just like i have. Although as we know with these shows; editing is key. Up until now, I’ve refused to watch this show due to the fact I live in this ridiculous bubble everyday. Isn’t television supposed to be about escapism? But I’m supporting my original kitten. Because after this when he’s a big star (as he should be) i’m hopefully still going to happily be his little bitch, sycophant, or like i said earlier, star-sucking parasite!!!

Here’s some shots of today:

Her arm cramped from all the cover-up she had to apply.

Me with the next big Bravo star!!!