i just. can’t. shake. the stormy waters in my heart. the keyboard waits…..and waits,….and waits for me to say something fetching. nothing to type. no fancy pants to fashion me gaga, girly, and giddy.

this lump here in my throat has grown roots and has ordered cable tv.

sleep deprived, i’m saying yes please to more hours of work so that i won’t be home watching. the devastation, the misery, the death. the bodies. the bulldozers. mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, babies, pets, babies.

my life embarrasses me today. a text doesn’t seem suffice. my legs, my lungs, my heart, my back….strong. i want to physically suffer so that someone else feels better. i don’t need anyone to know about it. fly me in covertly, let me help. i won’t cause a stink. i won’t tell, boast or brag. just let me fucking help.