last week’s adventures in groveling actress-land involved a last-minute {aren’t they all} audition for a fancy-nancy german car.

the role called for a woman in her thirties: ✓

casual style: ✓

ethnic: {pfft, whatever?} ✓

5’6”-5’9”: ✓

and a cute personality:…’s called acting.

with a face full of makeup, i lurched up the 405 freeway, my beast riding in the backseat, her smiling head out the window for the entire commute.

the waiting room consisted of 17 fellow 5’7”-5’9″, lindsay price look-a-likes; all frantically mastering high-eyebrows, the duckface model pout, and furiously arranging and re-arranging shaggy, layered, over-razored bangs, in the desperate hope that a 1/16th of inch follicle placement to the right or left, will make or break a 20 second interview.

print auditions are my favorite. they’re lightening quick. you’re in and out.

a couple of photographs face on, turn to the left, turn to the right, and you’re finished. what i imagine being arrested is like….without the cavity search….unless you’re auditioning for certain film schools.

this audition was a bit different. the casting agent wanted to film me talking “in a natural, normal manner.” so in order to get a “natural, normal” dialogue he asked me a “natural, normal” question:

“katie, tell me what sort of stuff are you doing with your summer? hanging with your friends? going to the beach?, movies?”

um, wut?

did i misread the number on the door? was this an audition for icarly?

how old does this guy think i am?

“what was I doing with my summer??????” suddenly I was back at villa park high, telling my 11th grade english class my june, july and august adventures.

“ummmmmm…….i’m like, totally going to the beach alot, and um, hanging out with my friends, and ummm, seeing movies and stuff, working on my keg stand at kristin’s house, my setting for varsity volleyball, and just being chill, ya know. but, like don’t worry, i’m totally doing my required reading and all, so it’s like way cool, and stuff.”

{heel-ball change, finger snap, smack palm……heel-ball change, finger-snap, smack palm}

or something like that…

 judging by the nodding of head as i gave my summer dissertation you’d think that i’d not only landed the spot, but that they were throwing in a brand new convertible too.

time will tell. as i said before it’s called ahhhhhct-TING.

today’s call is for grocery shopping mom. ethnic, of course.

i brushed up on my character by buying ralph’s out of their pink & white frosted animal cookies.

i like to be prepared.

thursday happy to you m’loves.