try

October 16, 2012

so i’ve been hitting p!nk’s new song “try” song hard on the replay button. {spin class you’ve been warned.}

the soul of the song is very p!nk-sty: burned by love, but it’s the good kind of fire because it’s the kind that makes you fight and worth it in the end, lots of snarling, gritting of teeth, and mamma bear stuff.

 “you gotta try” she says.

i couldn’t agree more. when you’re down in the muck of things and it gets tough, and you’re digging deep with effort, but you emerge intact—you can’t put a price on that kind of love.

i also feel like it’s the most satisfying way to accomplish goals. that working from the bottom of the ladder up, with a lot of stormy rain pounding down on your face, where although you might not be wearing the best shoes for the climb, you scale up anyway because that view up top is a feeling like no other. you’ve grown wings of courage you think you didn’t have.

so, quick, right now. close your eyes. what’s the first thing that comes to mind when thinking of something you want to try, but haven’t?

is it big like tackling a new hobby involving classes and hours of study and practice, or is it smaller like a recipe taking up maybe an afternoon or so?

what is stopping you? time? money? fear? confidence?

most of the things i want to do i shut down immediately because i think i don’t have the time. i’d love to take a photography class, but i have no idea where i’d fit it in. i have several yoga retreats i want to take, but time off, away just isn’t in the cards right now, and a recent episode of “elementary” has me currently fixated on learning the violin; last year it was the spanish guitar, the year before…..drums. just think, had i taken the time to actually attempt these instruments i’d have myself a band by now. 

i’m a fickle girl. this i know about myself. i will not commit buckets of money and chunks of time to something that won’t stay constant in my life.

so i think i’m going to try to find something small, something that doesn’t take up a ton of my time, something that i can work on at home in my free time, but a task that absolutely kicks my bottom, and is one of the hardest things i’ve ever done and not mastered, not even come close:

meditation.

damn it if that junk doesn’t send me chasing my tail up into all corners of the house, in slobbering fits and gnawing at both elbows. the second i sit “in a comfortable, but relaxed, alert position,” my blood can boil your pasta. you tell me to breathe deep, cool and easy, and suddenly i’m the dragon from sleeping beauty exhaling mountains of evil fire from my mouth and both eyes. 

there’s obviously a disconnect.

a rebellion.

a challenge for me. 

i must try.

any tips are appreciated.

tuesday happy to you m’loves.

oh….for your listening and viewing pleasure: p!nk’s new single and video:

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