trippin' - goodniteirene

yesterday afternoon a stranger, grabbed my un-manicured, heavily purell’d hand, looked me straight in the eye, and said:

“young lady, you’re in mighty need of a road trip.”

after what seemed like the world’s longest, awkward silence, where i’m pretty sure mexico heard my stomach growl, he then, like nothing happened, asked if i’d like a raffle ticket for bringing my reusable bags.

completely random and unexpected, but anyone who addresses me as “young lady” these days will get my attention; ever since this exchange my brain has been on vitamix level 10.

what is about my day six, unwashed hair, my carefully curated wardrobe, an outfit that drew the “oh you’re still in your pajamas?” comment from my neighbor, and my angry attempt to pay for groceries with a blockbuster video card, whereby i accused the inept credit card slider of conspiracy; what was it about this display of woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown that begged such unsolicited advice?

apparently i got a fever, and the only prescription is a road trip.

to be honest, i don’t really care if i come off as a malnourished soul, whereupon the only sustenance involves gps, a good playlist, and few other emaciated spirits looking for a change of scenery and to co-pilot.

but i do want to remedy this void.

i’ve never really been on a true road trip.

i’ve driven places before, and tried to dress them up as road trips with books on tape and games of I SPY, but ‘point A to point B’ doesn’t really reckon as a road trip.

these expeditions haven’t been of the vacation nature either; not the type of trips to warrant a facebook album.

now, like priscilla and her pillow fetish, i’m pining for that facebook album experience.

i want to ride shotgun, my feet on the dash, belting out my best “forever in blue jeans” and “queen of hearts.“

i want to live on a diet of red vines and punch lines; where the itinery is loose and the schedule is even slacker than my boyfriend jeans.

my dog and pony-show needs a one horse town.

a single road, one general store on main street, a sunday service in a lean-to church to tame my fitful heartbeat.

i want to eat donuts and coffee at a countertop of cowboys, served by a chain-smoking waitress, with more salt and vinegar than the homemade spicy mustard you can only find in a roadside diner.

i long for a night where the star rating of my lodging correlates to the number of stars i see in the sky. {please do NOT mistake this statement for me wanting to camp!!}

being a california girl, i’m thinking this route may be a good place for me to start; i’ve been to each city, but not in a road trip capacity.

then again, i’ve had this physical, aching pain for all things northeast of late.

this new england itinerary has me salivating for apple-picking + antiquing come october.

although not a delineated passage this list of 59 jaw-dropping roadside attractions in the midwest has me hankering to be dropped off in kansas to see the world’s largest ball of twine, an amuse bouche for dorothy’s house and land of oz in the next city over.

i don’t condone recreational drugs…..but what the fuck is going on in kansas?

“toto, i think you’re high?”