i knew those fendi shoes were over the top!!! even cruelty free they still were an asshole thing to ask for.

so santa, on hands and knees, because in all seriousness if i do stand i vomit, i revise my grown-up xmas list. this year i ask for a settled stomach and 98.6 degree temperature. i yearn for at least 6 uninterrupted hours of heave free sleep, and food and water i only have to taste once. santa can you ask your elves to please whip me up a potent elixir to obliterate this which has demon taken over my body? i know tis the season to be welcoming and charitable, but whatever bug/virus i seemed to have caught needs to find another muthafuckin christmas hostess.

merry. merry. bleh.