batshit crazy = me.

five of our smoke alarms decided to lose their juice last night starting at 1:38am.

not to take up all my time at once, each alarm politely waited 45 minutes in turn {once i had re-ensconced myself back into bed} to SOUND their hair curling screech screech.

the beasts tried to runaway to the nearest kill shelter; absolutely worthless in courage and pluck. they both have appointments with psychiatrists this morning: priscilla is binge eating and cutting herself, and truman is maniacally rocking back and forth, sucking his thumb.

i’m taking today one hour at a time; spoonfuls of coffee grounds into my mouth for energy.

i pity the fool who pisses me off today.

oh, and honey if you’re reading this……really, really, really hope you’re having a good time on the pebble beach bachelor party. last night was super fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun; so sorry you missed it….