Plastic Surgery

The Monster Mash

October 7, 2009

It’s Halloween time my friends. I know that because I’m on my third bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I have always hated this holiday. I hate dressing up. I hate dress up parties. It’s always a competition among women my age as to who can find a “costume” that allows them to whore out the most. I’ve seen it all and it’s so tired: naughty nurse, little school girl, french maid, cheerleader, catwoman, Eve, and my personal favorite: officer kinky .

Officer Kinky

Officer Kinky

I’ve scoured the internet. The following are very popular this year or just simply make me happy:

Mr. Hung Like A Horse

Mr. Hung Like A Horse

13823-

Kimber from Nip & Tuck

Kimber from Nip/ Tuck

Rub My Genie

Rub My Genie

Scary Witch

Scary Witch

Love Boat's Julie & Isaac
Love Boat’s Julie & Isaac
Miss WineHouse

Miss WineHouse

Ipod Amy

Ipod Amy

Kate Gosselin

Kate Gosselin

Octo Mom

Octo Mom

*images courtesy of costume idea zone, healthy and active, scrapetv.com & brooklyvegan.com

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“Clean-Up Aisle 1, i think it’s Trout”

September 10, 2009

lepore_doneI’m always amazed when i do my shopping at Mother’s Market at the copious amount of terrible plastic surgery. We’re talking dreadful. That Scandanavian “gentleman” with his eyes so tautly pulled back , he now can pass for Thai; and his hairpiece could pass for a Maltese. Oh dear lord, and this lady at the deli counter!?!?!?! We could have served an entire sample platter (veggie lasagna, tabbouleh,  AND Dolmas) on her bottom lip. Do the other stores not allow these people in the door? Is there a special discount Mother’s gives these cartoon characters? In their post-op take home packets of compresses and ice packs, are there Mother’s coupons for Ezekiel Bread and a menstrual cup? I do like the contrast, though, of these tucked, stapled, bandaged Jocelyn Wildenstein wannabe’s meandering the aisles of kombucha & gluten-free alongside the dreadlocked hippies, and the girls who don’t shave their armpits.

Love is all around……….

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