Entries from October 2009

Fairy Princess Flu

October 30, 2009

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Well I’m still F*cking sick!!!!! I know it’s not of the piggy persuasion, but it’s a flu nonetheless.  I STILL feel just as lousy as if I were to have the oinker flu!!!! Why do those porkers get all the attention? My fever’s just as high?! My body aches are just as debilitating!? Stupid, narcissistic hogs!

I’ve decided that, like swine,  my virus should get a catchy name and special distinguishing characteristics: The Fairy Princess Flu. Similar to H1N1, except not transmitted within pigpens, it’s symptoms are sleepiness, not liking anything in one’s closet, not really wanting to go to work, wanting to catch up on Mad Men episodes, and cupcake cravings. Sometimes there are chills, but that’s usually alleviated with a cashmere cardigan. Forget Tamiflu, it’s imperative to keep champagne on hand during FP Flu Season. Fellow fairy princess, Amanda, filled my Veuve Clicquot prescription, and left the elixir right on my doorstep yesterday afternoon so I didn’t even need to go to the pharmacy/liquor store.

Wishing all you fairy princess’ and prince’s a Happy and Healthy Halloween. Love, Katie

vogue_korea12*images Vogue Korea

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I Dare You to Disagree

October 29, 2009

tumblr_krn7hm2onT1qzb2hmo1_500Come on? I’m totally right! Cleaning out one’s junk drawer is just like cleaning out one’s ass: best done wearing gloves, by oneself, when everything else has already been scoured speckless.

Yesterday, I found myself, alone in my spic and span house, with a few free hours and a pair of rubber gloves……Magic was made.

Post magic I’ve now found my favorite missing blush, my tiny, travel bottles of Maker’s Mark, and 1 of 3 nightguards. (Yes, i grind my teeth. Yes, i wear that giant, attractive apparatus to remedy this nocturnal problem.  Yes, when I sleep, I look like a head gear wearing Anthony Michael Hall in “Sixteen Candles.”  Try and make fun of me, and I’LL KILL YOU.)

But the most incredible thing I found?!?!??!?!?!:  my J.CREW receipt/store credit from 2007!?!?!?! How in the HELL did I forget about this?!??!?! I’ve heard those horrific stories about those mothers who forget they’ve left their babies on top of their cars, and then drive off? I can totally sympathize now. How could I forget about my credit??? How did I go all this time with all that (practically) free merchandise waiting for me to come rescue it, and bring it home? So sad. So scary. I think Beyonce should play me when they convert this harrowing story into a movie.

Today, I’m stealing away to right this wrong. And, NO………… I didn’t find my J. Crew credit in my colon!!!!!!!???!?!

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What Dinner Looks Like When HH Works Late

October 28, 2009

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Bourbon: Good

Cupcake: Good

Borrowing the dog’s insulin: Good

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