isn’t going to cover up the hot mess creeping and crawling around my kisser. I must be camera ready tomorrow, and it’s more like ready for my possession of crystal meth mugshot. Those fourteen pounds I was supposed to lose over the weekend actually developed into a 2 pound accrual. At the time, my wine was telling me “birthday cake (2 days worth) is cleansing and detoxifying.” I should have known better. Wine also once told me, “guys think it’s really hot to pick out places to honeymoon on the second date.”

I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. I was cast for an athletic shoe commercial/DVD. Keep your fingers crossed they don’t fire me upon arrival.

* image Eleanor Hardwick