spring has arrived.

at least in my world.

yesterday, after a dour winter and fall, where hearts hung heavier than normal, i awoke with a lightness and levity i hadn’t felt in years.

although my wakeup call, circa 2:17am, involved the sound of jones, aka sweet baby, relieving his 125 lb bladder in our master bedroom, that sick-in-my-stomach dread, which typically accompanies my rise and shine, wasn’t there.

in its place was a weightlessness;

a clear head, a full heart, open wide, ready to receive and reciprocate all that has been gifted to me.

where did this sudden butterfly ethereality stem from?

i think i have finally hit my breaking point on the nonsense meter, and it feels splendid.

i also have been putting in the work: trying to get out my head and instead, get down deep, hands dirty into this grand, kick-in-the-pants, hold-onto-your-hats-and-glasses life.

once again, i have had to recheck my ego, and put that brat back into her place.

eckhart tolle {a favorite of mine} defines ego as self-identification with thinking; meaning not witnessing what is really going on….fabricating, inventing, catastrophizing and fantasizing scenarios involving the self, rather than actually observing the facts.

cognitive distortion.

hello, my name is katie, and i’m a cognitive distorter.

hello katie!!

the stories i tell myself in my head have never come close to actualizing; i would hope hunkiest would intervene early before i get to that point where i’m paying rent at a 24hr souplantation, eating broccoli cheese soup and roquefort dressing round the clock, sleeping only when they clean the salad bar and restock the self-serve ice cream machine.

i think what has lightened my load is getting crystal clear with the reality that even in the toughest times i have stayed 100% committed to my values and to my truth.

when you stick to your integrity and keep love in your heart, peace can be achieved, and the deadweight disappears.

life is going to unfold in its beautiful, magical, turbulent way.

nobody is immune from heartache, pain or strife.

nor are they immune from the bliss. but we can miss out on our bliss if we’re too busy worrying about the imagined potholes ahead.

here’s to dropping the weight.