so with just a little over two weeks in to this motherhood gig i can attest to the following ultimates: i am the happiest, the sleepiest, the most-frightened, most crazy in love {with baby, husband, + beasts,} and the most fulfilled of my entire life.

we’re on the every three-hour feed schedule which really means i am awake every TWO hours so i can feed, burp, pump, and think irrational, paralyzing thoughts.

hunkiest and i ditched all of our pre-natal classes for grilled cheese sandwiches and truffle fries at eat chow; so much of this has been on-the-job training.

google is our bitch.

she’s helped me find the best foods for breast milk production {oatmeal,} and coached me on how to install a car seat without getting a divorce {let the wife do it.}

here are a few other google searches in my caché:

how early before my newborn sleeps through the night?

how long does fireball stay in breast milk?

woman’s world record for oatmeal consumption….

oatmeal toxicity…..can you overdose on oatmeal? 

golden retriever night nurses…..

training your dog to change diapers….

the birthday cake diet.

how many susiecakes does it take for diabetes to set in?

sleep deprivation used as a method of torture.

can you die from lack of sleep?

do newborns require a ticket for coachella?

toned biceps from burping your infant.

how to swaddle my 42-year-old husband?

cataclysmic euphoria: a new mom’s love for her baby.

wish you a tuesday of cataclysmic euphoria m’loves.

p.s. the winner for the “knocked-up fitness” giveaway is Jenn Salusbury–please email me so i can send you your prize.