i was looking up.

i was. really.


although it wasn’t the empire state building that caught my eye, but rather a half-open, dutch door, ajar to a studio full of unsuspecting, lovely ladies, still aglow from their downward dogs, gaily chatting each other up on a brilliant, sun shining high in the blue-eyed sky, late wednesday morning, seaside in the cannery; their yoga glow blooming out of their pores creating an incandescent, rainbow-colored, bubble of happy in the studio foyer. 


that was until i burst it.

me, the pig-tailed, hippopotamus-like monster, posing as a sometimes pilates instructor who came thump {!} thump {!} thumping up the stairs, like i was missing the last piece of free cake, but instead, missed the step, and bashed my body into the door, the building, and grand finale’d with a tuck-n-roll into the side planter.


24 hours post fall and i’m still picking grass and weeds out from said pigtails.


not knowing whether to cry or laugh i’m pretty sure i just wet my pants instead.

the once blissed-out beauties now had faces of women who’d just been assaulted. 

that’s exactly what i was: an assault to their quiet, peaceful, wednesday morning. 


in less than three seconds, the scene went from bambi playing sweetly in the forest with thumper and flower, to bambi’s mother getting rifled and filleted by a flip-flopped, lululemon wearing hunter. 


i won’t go into details of my injuries because {a} they’re boring and {b} they’re not life threatening.

i’ve been home icing for the last 24 hours…vanilla buttercream icing if you must know….my back feels a little better, but now i have a stomach ache. 


this post doesn’t really have a point, other than maybe: watch where you’re walking folks.

i’ve had falls before, but none so violent as yesterday’s. but i’ll bet next year’s christmas presents that i will NEVER miss that step again. i’ll walk so careful and tentative from now on i’ll need my own slow lane on the sidewalk.

that’s my typical response after an injury: overcompensate with caution. 

there are certain yoga poses, exercise classes, stretches i won’t even type let alone attempt because of the annoying impairments i have sustained from them. 


but can i say the same about my personal tumbles? 

have my thousands of emotional belly flops, much more destructive and painful than any sprained ankle or sore back, taught me to stay away from that side of the meadow?


my friend wende i were talking about this the other day: it’s so much easier for me to just get over personal things/people, forgive, forget, move on, throw caution and heart to the wind, etc. 

i have a hard time with grudges, hard feelings, awkwardness, unresolved issues, etc.

they’re just so messy and not tidy, like baby’s breath and bangs. 

what’s the point?

pretend as i get older, i’m becoming more apathetic, but happier too.

i love more, but i care less. 

where do you fall? do need resolution? must you have a lesson from every backslide in your life? or are you ok not to have a reason for every circumstance?