yesterday as i was teaching a pilates private, trying to communicate the prickly activation of the pelvic floor and low belly constriction, with what i thought were vibrant, storyboard cues and examples: 

“pretend your bladder is a straw, it’s a hot, summer day in tucson, you’re dying of thirst, and you spy an iced tea.”

“make one, single, perky butt-cheek; now pretend you’re in a butt-cheek beauty contest, and the tightest, most perky cheek wins.” 

“imagine you’re wallpapering the small of your back; now use your low stomach to plaster the pretty brocade paper to said spine.”

“travel back to the 80’s when banana clips were the rage. ‘banana clip’ your ribcage shut.”

but rather than a wonder twin powers activation, her nadia comaneci to my bela karolyi, it was more like me taking the form of an amphetamined hyena and she the shape of a middle finger in the air.

45 minutes into the session, my cue tank was empty and i was ready to refund her money. 

all my room pacing and skull tunneling for an illustration or case history to make pilates more tangible to my new, eager client failed to find me. 

resigned to playing my pretty music, brainstorming about a new career in dog-walking, i stopped cueing and let my client feel her way through my {inept} exercises. 

of course, left to her own capabilities she immediately engaged those deep, intrinsic low belly muscles, contracted where she was supposed to be tight, and elongated in spots needing length. 

i exhaled relief {forcefully out of my mouth, like i was fogging a mirror.}

she couldn’t contain her amazement at the difference she felt:

i feel this so much more if i just suck my stomach in….

huh?

what do you mean “suck your stomach in?”

here i was attempting to re-paint the sistine chapel with every pantone shade in the swatch book, various ladders and stools so i wouldn’t miss a single spot, and all the art history data i needed to not make a mistake….except i forgot the effing paintbrush.

so thank you client x. thank YOU for the lesson in the art of less is more.

something else happened yesterday. something big. you’re looking at it right now.

goodniteirene, the true orange county girl that she is, went under the knife this week for a little “refreshing.”

how do you like her?

my friend and mad genius, brandi bernoskie, incredible author of not your average ordinary & daydreams, revamped my site for pennies and literally in less time than it took me to shave my legs {we half-asians don’t get a ton of hair…thank you dad.}

if you’re ever in the need for website help or design, brandi is your girl.

goodniteirene is now on facebook too! can we please be friends?

i promise i’ll stop talking shit on you if you like me. 

okay, that’s it for today.

‘kayloveyoubye.