a trader joe’s tragedy….

January 16, 2014


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it began so innocent.

it was day 23 of consecutive spin classes, and i’d hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch yet, which pretty much translates: “t’was a dark and stormy night.

 what started as a pure-hearted visit to trader joe’s, for my organic pears and arugula {wink wink,} ended in a probable diagnosis of type ii diabetes.

my clean-handed intentions were immediately marred with sugar and crunch when, like the local drug-pusher, hawking promises of elation and frenzy, the crack-trafficking peeps at trader joe’s nested their own mind-altering products at emotional eater eye-level, provoking the same sticky sweet promise of a dope daze.

 caramel and dark chocolate popcorn crunch and the ruggedly adventuresome cowboy bark; in the words of rihanna “where have you been all my life?

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 caramel and dark chocolate popcorn crunch is exactly how it reads….and MORE. sure you have your standard caramel and kettle corn, BUT the little kind-hearted, katie-loveing trader joe’s elves added dark chocolate covered, candied pecans, almonds, walnuts & cashews {for protein, i assume.}

the cowboy bark, described aptly as ruggedly awesome, adds to that dark chocolate train with pretzels, toffee, joe joe cookies, peanuts, almonds and sea salt.

i don’t know about you, but sea salt is the new rainbow sprinkles at my house.

i couldn’t choose between the two…i’d hate to hurt either snack’s feelings….so both were brought home, blended into a tasty stew of sweet and salty.

arranging my stash in a clean, white bowl seemed, at the time, to make the experience less dirty.


 but who was i kidding?

the nasty popcorn whore that i am, mowed down the whole bowl like it was a qualifying sochi race; a race performed in bed…yes, this was all consumed in my bed, i didn’t even have the dignity to sit upright.

this is me not able to face my handsome husband, he had just asked me if i had saved him any…..

i’m sure y’all have much more self-control than i clearly can’t exhibit….so if dark chocolate wonderful is your jam, then get thyself immediately to a your nearest trader joe’s…

mouths of happy to you m’loves.

  • Omg I purchased both of those, they are crazy good!!!!!!!

  • “like it was a qualifying sochi race” haha so good! I need to try that bark!

    this + that

  • I would have eaten the whole thing. They have so many addictive treats there. I’m addicted to those salted dark chocolate carmamel chews. Deadly

    • salted dark chocolate caramel chews!?! those are the most beautiful words i’ve ever read.

  • totally laughing out loud! you so brave to fess up to the whole wide world! I usually keep my TJ’s treats binges to myself. 🙂 Love it. You are too funny.

    • my husband thinks i should be more like you and keep my emotional eating a private matter….

  • Omg this looks so good. Today is my Birthday and I had a half dozen mini cupcakes by Baked by Melissa. My coworkers got them for me.

    Allie of

    • happy birthday {belated.}——oh my gosh!?! baked by melissa minis are the best…lucky girl…

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