online presents

July 9, 2013

closing

so it happened. it needs to happen. we all have our off days. in my case sometimes it’s an off year, but we’ve all had that week-old, moldy, rotten peach pit in our stomach feeling of walking away from a job not so well done, wishing for a do-over.

last night i taught a spin class SO not ready for prime-time when i looked up at the end of class i was shocked to still see riders. 

i sucked. i deserved to have my certification revoked. here, take my lululemon wunder-under crops {in reversible grey} back from me. i am no longer eligible for such chafe resistant luxury. 

someone! find out! when’s the next prancercise training in my area? i need to move on.

not 2 minutes into a sick depeche mode/marilyn manson mash-up where i had aspired to lead my 30+ warriors up a hamstring busting, soul-stirring, and record-setting mountain climb did a meddlesome, distracting and errant particle of brain break off from my cerebral cortex, and have its own private rave in my eye. {of course to the beat of 136 bpms.} 

too befuddled with the ocular disco taking place on my pupil i missed cues, elapsed time, gear changes, earthquakes, and gorilla stampedes. or at least that could have happened, how would i know? i was too wrapped up in mourning the loss of my vision: would i ever see my husband’s smile again? we never did make it to the grand canyon, and will i still be able to dress cute?

do remember saying the word “bullshit” amid a motivational cue—which if you’ve taken my classes you would know is COMPLETELY out of character. the most i swear in a class is a “hell yes” or “damn” here and there. but an actual cable-tv swear word? what the fuck katie? what next? an exposed midriff and sport’s bra?

booze

i felt so bad about my amanda bynes performance i came home and properly hydrated with a friendly, halfway full, russian bottle that looked vaguely familiar from my sorority pledge night.

or did that night involve a russian fraternity boy and me drinking a bottle of pledge?

does it really matter? #college #ucla #initiation 
i'mfinei once taught my coreplay class with the full-blown, projectile vomit stomach flu. i couldn’t find a sub so i’d put everyone in plank, started counting, turned up my music, and threw up in a trash can behind the studio mirror in 60 second intervals. poor souls had never done so much plank in their lives. they might have even puked themselves. it was still a great class, and the students were nice. 

teaching classes is such a different beast now. with online ratings these days instructors have to be 1000% on their game and then some, or risk being written up on yelp or rateyourburn–{which is a whole ‘nother post i’ve actually had other instructors ask me to blog about.}

i’ve always vowed to keep all of my online reviews positive. trust me, i have had and do have fantasies of ripping several service providers, people and businesses into moldy string cheese.

but those bad online reviews are more a reflection of me i think….that i would take the time and energy to put something negative out in world about another person {albeit deserved,} doesn’t sit right with my sensitive, over-fed stomach.

what are your thoughts on online reviews? do you write them? do you write negative ones? most of the people i love and respect write negative reviews so no judgy here. hell i’m gonna need a new job soon, i’ll be kissing your bottom from here to moscow.

tuesday happy to you m’loves.

love,

one-eyed katie

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  • I know someone who was in said class. She liked the class, rocked out and came home drenched. What's more important is how is your eye!!!!?????!!! Did you ever get it out? How did it get in???

    • goodniteirene

      my eye is still killing me. i have no idea what is in there….it's read, angry and causing much havoc….

  • Niloofar

    ??? What are you talking about? I for one got my fix. I was worried about your eye but as far as the class it was just perfect like YOU;)

    • goodniteirene

      thank you…love you niloo…..you're amazing….as always.

  • My dear KO, you could teach class completely without cues, and silent, and your amazing energy and aura would still light up any room! I <3 you! BTW, what does it mean when RYB has your name, but 0 ratings. :0 [fail]

    • goodniteirene

      i love you MORE!!
      i'm not sure….that site makes me crazy…i'm on there too…thank GOD without any ratings….
      how did they even get my info!??! grrr!!!!

  • I was there…It was one of my best workouts in weeks! And….there was a new guy in class next to me who said afterwards, "that was brutal!" So trust us all….no one knew you were off your game except you!
    XOX

    • goodniteirene

      um, yes…i was going to ask you, but was so distracted by the party in my eye, what did you say to that guy to get him to disrobe so quickly? maybe you need to start wearing the engagement ring to class miss macpherson?

  • Katie Osumi! First of all, I LOVE your blog and get a HUGE smile on my face when I see that you posted a new one. I have cried with laughter on some, if not most, of them. We all have corky, strange thoughts, and I absolutely love that you feel comfortable saying them out loud 🙂 I find myself relating and thinking "I am with you Katie" 🙂

    Secondly, you are amazing and what you are describing does not sound like a boring or ineffective class at all. Quite the contrarty… it sounds like it was pretty damn entertaining. We all have off days as instructors. I started my class yesterday by telling everyone I didn't feel well… which we know to never do!

    I love you. Members love you. And the feedback at the studio is…. KATIE IS AWESOME!

    • goodniteirene

      oh you are the sweetest shelly…thank you…i didn't mean for this post to be a "give katie some love" post…but i'm eating it up like the binge eater that i am….

      you're the best. love you.

  • Shelly's Boss

    Yea, you half-asian twit with the messed up princess leia buns… you sucked eggs!!!!!

    =) xoxo

  • Awwww…Big hug Katie all the way from Singapore!

    Z

    • goodniteirene

      aw lovely, sweet zee…all the way from singapore…thank you dear.

  • Judy Brower Fancher

    Now count your blessings: More than 30 peeps showed up, they loved the class and they will be back for more. Even when you see yourself as low, you are higher on my scale than nearly anyone else I know.
    Regarding the negative posts, my sister told me that most of the people I respect most in the world likely have had someone write something nasty about them online — as you said, it's about the writer, not the subject (or victim).
    Plus, if need be, please come over and visit my one-eyed cat – he is a happy, healthy and joyous creature!

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