what is it that they say about best-laid plans?

i had a grand scheme for these nine-plus months of uterine hospitality:

~visions of my water breaking at the 41st week, in the gym shower, post record-breaking calorie expenditure in my spin and pilates classes.

~a diet of 100% organic, vegetarian meals tastefully spread throughout my day at 3-hour, blood-sugar friendly intervals; invigorating me through all the catch up coffee-dates and afternoon walks with my dearests.

~a maternity style to rival nicole richie: teeny tanks coupled with toothpick jeans would alternate easily with the same maxi-dresses i’ve been wearing for last decade.

~my silky, prenatal vitamin-induced, pantene commercial hair flowing long and untangled down my cocoa-buttered, pilates-toned back.

~today was supposed to have been day six of me frolicking in a bikini, downing fresh coconut and pineapple smoothies, lounging on the sand with hunkiest as we celebrated our romantic babymoon in hawaii.

but instead i sit here at home, medically restricted from any type of travel, wearing my 3rd, new bathrobe in 6 months {two sizes larger of course} trying to keep my daily bowl of campbell’s bean with bacon soup down for the second time this morning.

every, single, date, meal, and outing i’ve made with friends and family, i have had to last-minute cancel due to nausea.

that glossy head of hair, promised to me by all the mommy blogs is, in actuality, a tangled, parched, rat’s nest that has become a playground for snarls, split ends and most likely fleas.

but what makes me most heavy-hearted is having to go on official leave from work—those dirty braxton hicks seem to arise every time i teach, and my doctor has officially pulled the plug on my microphone.

i really had intended to teach all the way up to “labor day,” and i feel like such a loser for not keeping that commitment to my incredibly supportive managers {wes + dani.}

so until my little person is evicted i am taking a seat in the back row; still working out but without the microphone, old skool rap and obnoxious hair flips.

but all of it so worth it for the mini-me i’m lucky enough to have growing inside me.

thursday happy to you m’loves.