it started with an innocent text..

March 18, 2014

 

so last week the goddess {aka raquel perry, the fitness stalker, my girl crush,} sent me a text:

text

i mean i was raised not to be rude.

and since when am i to turn down a homemade, crispy-riced, i need two napkins please, confection?

especially when they were hand-delivered, hot-pants clad, mid my nut-house, DMX-themed spin party, last saturday morning.

that’s real, i’ll-hold-your-hair-when-you-puke, friendship.

{luckily raquel has super short hair though.}

famished from my hip-hop-palooza on a bike, there was no ladylike postponement, waiting until i got home before i face dived into my gifted, baggie of sweet, crunchy goodness; with crispies in my lashes and pretzel crumbs in my belly button, i bare teethed texted raquel, demanding the recipe….

textthe thing is….i have been known to “demand” recipes in the past….

remember beautiful dena?

i was hell-bent on getting her chicken soup recipe too; stalked her new jersey ass, threatened to kidnap a twin or two of hers, and held up traffic on a bridge for a day until she gave it up.

she did.

but then i read how complicated it was {it really wasn’t but i’m an imbecile,} and the liklihood of me making chicken soup NOT from a can is faint.

but i promise to share her recipe soon with y’all.

cooking (1 of 1)

but these krispy things…{is krispy with a “k” or a “c”?,} really did read easy {you saw the text.}

ricepuffs (1 of 1)

there are the rice puffs….

brown rice puffs, unsweetened.

3 cups.

pretzel (1 of 1)

 spelt pretzels….

1 cup {chopped}

now i have NO idea why they have to be spelt; raquel specified spelt. i don’t know what spelt is; if you ask me “spelt” sounds like a species of fish. but if raquel tells me to eat used baby wipes, you bet i’m going to chow down on a cost-co sized box of those pre-moistened, not-so powder fresh anymore, towelettes…have you seen this woman?

cornsyrup (1 of 1)

1/2 cup brown rice syrup….

this makes it sweet.

{yes, i may or may have not added more than she said….i did.}

taste (1 of 1)

1/2 cup peanut butter…..

“save the rest of the jar for later date emotional eating binge”….i do—-{these are my notes, not raquel’s}

mess (1 of 1)

1/2 tsp of vanilla….

2 cups for the floor and the counter.

texter (1 of 1)

and this is why i hate to cook: directions like “a pinch of salt.”

what the f*^! does that mean?!!?!?

“a pinch” is a very partial amount….especially when it comes to salt….a pinch of salt to me, someone who thinks there’s too much salt in the salt-free food i buy, is one, micro, unseen speck of that tangy, white poison….yet if you were to ask me what a “a pinch” of sugar looks like, i’d need a forklift to show you.

give me metrics people!

finished (1 of 1)

nevertheless they turned out delicious…albeit looking a bit yellow and dijon mustard-ish…

hunkiest liked them, so that’s all that mattered.

maggots (1 of 1)

 is it just me or does anyone else think of the maggot scene from poltergeist when you look at this plate?

i told raquel that was my only gripe; from far away i thought i’d made worm casserole.

photo (2)

apparently i bought the wrong kind of cereal; her fancier, euro-erewhon are less larva-looking.

priscilla also gave her seal of approval. she loves when i cook; especially with peanut butter, she knows she’ll get the spoon.

but really, if you’re looking for a delicious, healthier alternative to rice crispy treats, and you’re not allergic to peanuts you should try this super-easy recipe.

happy cooking m’loves.

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11 comments :

  • jsg

    Sooooo making these!!!!!

  • Raquel

    KO, I love how you can turn a recipe and its results, into a hilarious blog post! I am beyond honored to have made the GNI cut once again! :) There are more easy, peasy, healthier-treat recipes where that came from! <3 <3 Raquel

    • katie

      please send me something a little more user friendly…preferably something with less ingredients and less steps…
      a banana?

  • Ari

    I love your emoji abuse. A girl after my own emoji-loving heart.

  • Kristin

    Yum!! Making these for sure!! What the heck happened with the vanilla??

    • katie

      ugh…the vanilla…this is WHY i don’t cook…and proof that i don’t cook often…i thought the vanilla was going to come out slowly…like syrup, like molasses….wrong!! a friend of mine actually thought i had staged the photo…as if!?!? do you know how expensive vanilla is!??!

  • melissa

    my god, your face with ‘pinch of salt’…you are so f’n awesome. i want to bake with you and your spoon licking side-kick p.

    • katie

      i’ll watch you bake and add my love, adoration and drool….trust me..you do not want my sticky fingers in the kitchen…love you.

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