welcome to my new series, “shut the fridge.” just like medicine cabinets, i believe one’s refrigerator is a magnifying glass into their soul, psyche, and secrets. 

to be honest, the idea of photographing my fridge this morning took some courage. did i really want to publicly showcase the stockpile of condiments this family has amassed over the year{s?}

hunkiest’s bbq sauce collection alone is smithsonian worthy.

and yes my hoard of bloody mary mix isn’t exactly the vision of low-sodium living.

and let’s not forget this is also my mother’s fridge too. iowa born and bred, she’s never met a best food’s mayonnaise jar she didn’t make out with.

so here’s a closer look into our recess of heart aka “the fridge.”

the g00d.

 especially in the summer, we are jam-packed with fruit. i eat on average 2 peaches, 1-2 pears, 1 apple, and strawberries every day.

at least.

yes, at least.

most of the time it’s in its full, whole form, other times i vitamix it with my pro-greens powder or various green vegetables around the house. but fresh, organic produce is a non-negotiable not just because i like how it makes me come off more gwenyth paltrow’y, and it’s the kind of thing we blog bitches are supposed to say these days, but also because i REALLY do feel like dirt when i don’t eat my fruits and vegetables.

boring but true.

the bAd. 

 personally i think frosting is one of god’s greatest gifts to man, second to sons of anarchy.

 my mother loves to buy frosting.

even better, she buys this sugary, diabetes-inducing topping, and then bakes a weekly cake, for her beloved-son-in-law, which is frosted to perfection.

this week she recreated the famous mastro’s butter cake, only with a lemon, frosted twist.

and thus is why i’m on an effing spin bike for three hours on a sunday morning.

the nutZo.

ok..so lemme fess up…all that “produce”??? yeah, well those apples aren’t shoveled in all naked and pure, like some anne geddes cherub in a cotton blanket.

to be honest i’d speculate more nutzo than apple gets consumed in one sitting.

the apple serves really as my utensil to scarf the nutzo down.

i forever curse you raquel perry for your nutzo/katie introducing ways–not everyone needs to get along raquel!!

so again, welcome to “shut the fridge”…

many thanks to a certain bambi-eyed, 10-year-old sweetheart, who gave me the name for this series when, last night at dinner, in disbelief at an adult story, i, obscenely started to yell:  “SHUT-THE-FU—-“…and she gleefully interjected: “the FRIDGE!!!!!!!”

monday happy to you m’loves. are we friends yet?