ladies who lunch….

March 11, 2014

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happy tuesday dahlings.

pardon the jet set accent, but yesterday i got my fancy on, and played posh amongst the oc gentry for a monday afternoon filled with champagne cocktails, bally bags, and runway fashion.

 the orange county chapter of child help, the leading non-profit organization dedicated to helping victims of child abuse and neglect, had their 28th annual fashion show here in newport beach.

 my always splendid, super fashionable friend, the famous, mrs. burns, invited me to be her “plus one.” i couldn’t say “yes” fast enough.

it was an affair replete with charity, jimmy choo, and cheesecake.

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first stop: blow out bar.

your ticket getting into these charity events isn’t your name on the list or voucher, it’s whether you pass the sniff test of fresh tressed moroccan oil. hair must also dispatch to the proper volume and height only achieved from a professional blow dry.

already at 8am the swivel chairs were elbow to elbow full of fellow attendees, swapping stories of what they were going to wear and who was going.

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after the teasing, spraying, and edification of my sweaty, spin class hair, i moved on to spackle and prefabrication….my face.

i lay at the mercy of my urban decay altar where i cast various spells and black magic witchery in efforts to make under eye circles, spots and wrinkles vanish like boyfriend’s past.

no such luck, but i did manage NOT to look like too much of a hooker.

{you’re welcome mom.}

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the shoes were a success!

they matched and went perfect with my dress in hubba-bubba bubble gum pink {mrs. burns forbid me from wearing my favorite, go-to black.}

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i wasn’t two steps down our front path when i heard a crunch….only to discover these shoes had been another girl’s favorite too.

PRISCILLA!!!!!!!
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one shoe change later, a non-repentant dog condemned to her crate, and a dash down pch, i arrived at the luncheon, raffle tickets in hand, ready to win something grand…i was hoping something along the lines of a facelift or eye job—-judging from the taut necks and jawlines of most attendees, it looked like they were last year’s party favors. so of course i stuffed the ballot.

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 the fashion show did not disappoint.

sponsored by south coast plaza we were fed a fanfare of super-fun spring fashion; both men and women.

the models, unfortunately, looked as if they hadn’t been fed in months.

i’m actually starting a charity fashion show to raise money for feeding the models next.

here’s a tiny shot of some of the diane von furstenburg fun {we saw bally, missoni, carolina herrera, dkny, many others…i can’t believe i’m forgetting them all}…i was too distracted by the pretty clothes to film for too long.

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at lunch we were properly sobered up with the statistics of the reality of child abuse.

did you know the number one cause of death for young children is child abuse?

i did not.

the united states is one of the worst nations in the world for child abuse.

it kind of made me feel like a loser for all the grandstanding i do about china’s child labor…..

every year, in the united states, there are a reported 3 million cases of child abuse; and even more disgusting, there are over 6 million children believed to be abused each year.

on average we lose 4 to 6 children EVERY DAY to child abuse.

child help supplies assistance with support lines, monetary and educational assistance, and housing to those affected by child abuse.

if you’d like more information or to make a donation please visit their website.

linda

ah.

mrs. burns.

love her.

she was/is the real show stopper.

thank you so much linda for letting me “plus one” you.

i had the greatest time, even if i was a fish out of water…more like a fish in dubai…but the ladies i hung out with were divine, and i’m definitely doing it again next year.

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where’d you go, katie?

March 10, 2014

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here in southern california when we have weekends as beautiful as we just had, it’s funny how, for two days, we seem to forget about taxes, jobs, and healthcare.

instead we bask, like jaundiced, carefree seal pups, vying for space under blue skies and cotton-balled clouds.

saturday morning, in a room packed, bike to bike, with people i worship, i danced my face off, to gangsta’s paradise and yes, a little miley, with my fellow newport beach gangsta’s.

every week we sweat and rock to the beat for sixty, “can i have a hallelujah?” minutes.

this is truly my favorite time of the week: this dark room, that music, and this crew.

on a high that no pill, injection, cheese plate, or shot of tequila could ever replicate, i walked/drove proudly {maybe even smugly} to my next class, a barre class, stopping several times to converse, visit, etc with people and the general public, rejoicing in sunny skies, emerald smoothies, and my other various, first world pretensions.

it’s in barre that i stretch, elongate, and awaken my inner martha graham—a beast which SHOULD be supressed.

a packed class, but i made sure i was front row, center….. for all to see.

{disclaimer–i’m in teacher training so i’m asked to be in the front row–most know that i prefer back corner, in the dark, hidden, invisible, non-existent.}

and see they all did…45 minutes into my grĀnd, vainglorious, “up an inch, down an inch” performance, as i lifted my leg back into arabesque, a quick glance at my form in the mirror confirmed that, yes,:

my pants had been on BACKWARDS all. morning. long.

to all you monkeybutts who didn’t tell me—-guess how many fingers i’m holding up right now?

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clearly i needed a change of scenery.

my fashion faux-pas called for a road trip.

hunkiest piled us all in the car saturday afternoon and we buzzed up north.

i wore a dress to be safe.

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i forget how limited food options become on the road when one doesn’t eat meat.

beef jerky is now its own aisle at most truck stops.

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was able to excavate some fruit though…

and i think it’s even considered “raw,” right?

i mean it’s not like i microwaved it or anything?

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typically i can’t read in the car….it makes me sick; like chocolate covered strawberries sick {WHY  do people RUIN TWO PERFECTLY GOOD FOODS!?!?!?!?}

but i cannot put this hilarious book down.

where’d you go bernadette” by maria semple.

it’s the story of a woman who absolutely LOSES her mind….and i could be …..i love this woman.

bernadette {the title character} stole my heart with the following four lines:

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 i’ve actually only been to a buca di beppo once.

it was for my best friend’s bachelorette party.

i was very young and very smug.

do you notice a theme here?

 i sent back my margarita because i didn’t like the taste {too alcoholic.}

the second one came back a little better, but 20 minutes into THAT drink i noticed my rigatoni morphed into large, sandy conches, hoisting miniature, blue mermaids, who brushed strands of their linguine hair as they recited def jam poetry to me.

no one else at the table could see this though.

the next thing i remember i was back at the hotel calling security on MYSELF.

fuck buca di beppo.

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who knows at what moment we start to lose it?

it’s my theory that we all have these little hiccups of mini-breakdowns throughout the day/week/month/year, but some sort of reflex {luck? god? self-preservation? a mirror?} pull us back, just right before, that tip-toe, into the never-never-straight-jacket-land….

i was explaining my theory of the daily break-down to hunkiest on our drive back last night….

and then i looked down at my feet…

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friday i’m in love…..

March 7, 2014

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friday buttercream frosting on your toes, fingers, and in my case, hair, to you m’loves!

how has mademoiselle march been treating you so far?

are you ready for warmer days?

the kind that calls for knees exposed, shoulders bared, and the ice-cube requisite cocktail?

me too.

well maybe not exposed knees….my knees haven’t seen the light of day since 6th grade.

here are a few sweetmeats i’ve fallen in love with this week:

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i don’t pop molly, i rock j.crew…..

spring the j.crew catalog finally arrived.

i’ve been neck-deep in pages of hot pink and polka-dot, my heels clicking like the tail of a tennis-ball chasing puppy.

selections have been made in case hunkiest asks…

i’m definitely going steady with this sweater, come may 5th….{birthday candles optional.}

and this entire look needs to happen for a date night.

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about a year ago my body, primarily my mannerly mane of hair, my non-perspiring constitution, and my somewhat predictable taste in food, turned on me and revolted—ukraine style.

i don’t talk/write about this hurtful coup d’etat because i don’t, nor does my doctor understand it….and it’s just too depressing to dwell on…

{the obviously theory is hormones, thyroid, etc..but all the tests have come back fine/inconclusive…}

but the point of this, rather long, {let’s admit–yawn-inducing} back story has to do with my new find.

for most of my life i have detested chocolate…loathed it; likened it to cruella deville and beets.

yet as of a year ago, chocolate has become a new, daily obsession; i crave it like a dalmatian craves its spots. i must have it, or i will skin said puppies, spots or no spots.

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enter tonic scene raw organic bars.

made from organic raw cacao mass, organic raw agave nectar, and organic raw cacao butter, just one piece of these bitter chocolate lovelies is the perfect antidote to my angry, 4pm hankering for dark goodness, and luckily no canines have to suffer.

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ok. officially on the lupita bandwagon.

love her.

loved her acceptance speech.

and loved even more her other speech on beauty that left the room speechless.

loved her dress.

i loved his speech about her.

she is divine.

lupitaapparently i’m not the only one with the lupita crush.

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iggy azalea’s “fancy” is this week’s jam….i’m loving the video based on the clueless movie…

have you taken the buzzfeed quiz, “which clueless character are you?“—{i got christian}–swoon.

and speaking of JAMS—if ANYONE can find me a radio edit of major lazer’s/pharrel’s “aerosal can”{warning: explicit!!}…i’ll be your best friend…

so that’s just a little of what i’m loving on this week…

oh..and of course…i’m loving on YOU for coming by to see ME, HERE at my blog party!!

come by again next week?

till then, see you on the other side of sunday m’loves…

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the liebster award

February 27, 2014

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remember me?

this has been the longest hiatus i’ve taken from writing…

getting back into the swing of work has been a bit harder than i had anticipated.

my body was not ready for the decathlon my anxiety-riddled brain craved, and BAM! my knee and hamstring gave out like two, third-string, hacks, posing in the major leagues.

i’m also cramming, winter semester, final-style, to teach at a new, local studio…i’m loving the stimulation and creativity, but it’s keeping me up late, at the barre.

and also, there’s just been an influx of overall farce and folly {all of it giggle-inducing} around the house, which has kept me far from these happy sounding laptop keys.

i am glad to be back.

i can’t believe it, but i actually have even been nominated for an award…

unfortunately not of the academy type; so signor armani you can cease the hemming of my floor-length tulle skirt you insisted i wear sunday night….but i’ll keep the pearls and save my frock for some later springtime fete, perhaps a picnic or sail? armani]

but back to my nomination…it’s called the liebster award…it’s a type of blogging award…except there aren’t any judges, there is no ceremony, definitely no red carpet, i don’t need even need a blow out {i still might get one though,} and no actual winner…

so, yes, i’ll ABSOLUTELY take it.

thank you silentblackstarrs for the nomination…i am tickled kelly green.

liebthe only requirements are that i answer the following questions…

here goes:

1) what got you to start blogging?

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definitely my deep narcissism and self-absorption.

it is my firm belief that everyone in the world wants to know what i eat for dinner and what i wore while eating said dinner. i owe them this information and the accompanying selfie.

 2) if you could choose to be in a movie, what would it be?

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“grease 2″ no hesitation.

 my “cool rider” blows up that bitch michelle pfeiffer’s rendition any day of the week….

my “girl for all seasons” is a close second. i am constantly perfecting this routine.

she’s my coach.

3) if you can say one thing to the person you are missing right now, what would you say?

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rob!!! we’re out of talenti!

4) if God appeared in front of you right now, and told you that you can change the path of your life (your career, the partner you chose, the place you are living, etc.), what would you change?

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first i would say to her, good luck hosting the oscars…and second i would ask her to not change anything other than to please not me live longer than the people i love {this includes my dogs!!!}—oh and to never cancel true detective.

5) who is the person you love hanging out with most?

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my husband.

6) describe that person please.

he doesn’t say much, but the stuff he does say makes my knees weak, and when he says those things, i faint a like pre-teen at a one direction concert…

7) what is your jam? (your theme song!)

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8) if you were given a chance to have one talent, what will it be?

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to not leave places messier than how i found them {both literally and figuratively.}

9) if you had to choose one food for the rest of your life to eat what would it be?

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coffee.

10) have you ever been nominated for a liebster award before?

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no.

but i’m still going to wear a pretty dress today.

thanks again to silentblackstarrrs for the nomination…and i hope to see you here tomorrow m’loves…

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back in the saddle

February 14, 2014

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i’m back!

albeit with a case of vertigo—which is friggin bonkers?!?!

who else has had this disco party in their head?

every time i stand up i am compelled to shriek: “i’m on a boat!!!”—-hunkiest says it wasn’t funny the first time…so you can bet i’ll be repeating it all summer long.

yesterday i received the “all clear” from my doctor, and i’m chomping on the mouth guard to get back to my full schedule.

glamorous, right? 37 years old and i wear a mouth guard—makes for a sexy kiss goodnight….

no wonder we’re just now procreating after eight years.

nevertheless…i’m back in the saddle, literally, today and all through the weekend, even subbing an 8:30am spin class on sunday morning at equinox in newport beach; so if you’re in town come see my giddy, off-balanced mug.

weekend happy to you m’loves..see you on the other side of sunday.

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50 shades of bed rest….

February 12, 2014

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it appears that my body, my doctor, and i, all have clashing opinions when it comes to the definition of “bed rest.” 

MY understanding of bed rest was that i just wasn’t allowed to teach.

sometimes when i teach i can get a bit…unbounded?

we’re talking a full out backwoods-baptist, is that a vein or a serpent popping out of her forehead, let’s exorcise-the-devil-gearless-rider-out-of-us-experience.

so last week i had ambitioned up some light pilates, maybe a little stroll for my legs around a spin bike or two—-not exactly snake handling-but some preparation for teaching again; not WORK, and very LIGHT!!

that’s okay for bed rest, right?

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one unbroken fever, and a case of anemia later, i’m guessing bed rest actually means resting, IN bed..

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i now have a full-time, round-the-clock nurse who watches me like i’m a bowl-full of peanut butter cups….she administers her sweet, tuna fish-breath kisses, and makes sure we’re cheek-to-cheek at all times, except for when i’m sleeping and then she raids my closet for fancy sweaters.

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we try to keep fit with pilates wall exercises.

i’m coming up with new choreography for my classes…..the only caveat is we need hospital beds as props….wes pedersen…that won’t be a problem right?

this guy

he takes the afternoon shift.

 a little more vigilant than his sister, both eyes open at all times, a protective paw to guard against errant blankets and pillows, jones takes all of his jobs, just like he takes loving us, very seriously.

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remember these? a must for lounging…i’ve had them for 3 years now, and they’ve still held up, the white, satin ribbon too. i’ve been living in these grace and lace leg warmers for the last two weeks, truly; i even bathe in them.

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and finally, i got rid of my corpse-colored nail polish–which i tend to favor during these winter months…..BUT we decided i needed a nice, perky, girl-who-likes-tulips-and-snow-cones {i HATE tulips and snow-cones} pick-me-up.

my mary jo matsumoto 4-Free polish was the exact potion to remedy the downcast dreary on my toes.

i like it…

anyone want to a grab snow cone later?

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and nothing cheers a girl up like the spring-time fashion issues—think billowy skirts and little heels that go “clat, clat, clat, clat” when you walk. top it off with a big, fat, chunky vanity fair: chiwetel ejiofor on the cover…thank you very much graydon carter…

i’m looking to get out of my legwarmers by the end of the week..fingers, legs, eyes, wires-crossed….

wednesday happy to you m’loves.

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shut the fridge: dena gross

February 11, 2014

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welcome to another edition of “shut the fridge” where we take an apologetic look into some of the most interesting people’s refridgerator’s.

i have been on-my-knees begging for this latest post.

today we welcome dena gross.

dena is a friend…more of an online friend, because she’s that cool girl, i have not had the confidence yet to ask out for coffee, dinner or to just let me breathe in her prettiness.

first espied at the gym, and then {like so many of my other victims,} stalked on facebook, dena has become another katie casualty and graciously succumbed to my badgering, allowing us a glimpse into her, now east-coast {yes, sadly she and her family moved away this summer–from me?!?!?!?} life.

dena has 3 A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E {we’re talking like j.crew model–ALL 3} children..twins and a plus one; all very close in age..and yet she still seems super chill, VERY connected to her awesome husband jared, and as grounded as they come…no wonder she left orange county…

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Growing up in the heart of commercial California farming, watching Big Ag crop-

dust my small town with liquid pesticides at regular intervals, I developed a certainamount of cynicism about the food supply and the average American diet. Raised by a mother who believed that processed food was nutritionally void and cooking at home was more economical than buying pre-packaged meals, my sibs and I ate lots of homemade bread, chicken & barley stews, fresh eggs, vegetables, and drank unpasteurized milk that a local farmer delivered to us weekly (by the pail). These foods were healthier and cost much less when prepared by Mom.

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Having three young kids of my own, I believe my role as a parent is to train my children’s appetites for real food.

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If I am a little uncompromising with them it’s because I know that as they grow more independent they’ll have plenty of exposure to artificial dyes, bleached flour, and processed junk masquerading as food. I want the things they eat while they’re young to be the highest quality I can provide. And now Ms. Katie has asked to peek into my fridge and know a little more about my approach to feeding young kids healthful food. In the early days I had three kids under the age of 2, so I went through a long period of pureed meals. I dedicated many Sundays to steaming and blending every combination of vegetable, fruit, and protein I could think of (sometimes nabbing ideas off the labels of baby food jars). My husband Jared would entertain the babies while I pureed “recipes” and portioned them out by the ½-cup amount in zip-lock bags, freezing them flat on a cookie sheet and stacking them in labeled rows in my freezer; a veritable “library” of options for the week to come; defrost as needed. Five years later I no longer have the luxury of a captive audience.

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My kids have LOTS of opinions about what they don’t like and no one seems to be a fan of leafy greens (which is not negotiable in my book), so one of the mainstays in our house is a green smoothie several times a week. While I serve vegetables at every dinner and for many snacks, I find that by supplementing their diet with green smoothies I can be sure my bases are always covered.

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Smoothie ingredients vary but usually include a majority of the following (all organic): almond/dairy milk, avocado, big handfuls of raw kale, Swiss chard, spinach, green leaf lettuce, frozen bananas/grapes/pears, raw almonds or cashews, chia seeds, hemp seeds, mesquite powder, coconut butter, vanilla, cinnamon, and frozen berries.

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If I make a batch before school pickups and store them in a cooler on the passenger seat, the kids hop in the car whining for a snack and I hand them a green smoothie.

Done.

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But back to my fridge: Top shelf: whole milk, almond milk, many containers of nuts and seeds and trail mix. Fresh greens and herbs keep oodles longer in a jar of water. Barley and spelt flours for these lovely muffins from GOOP, which are a staple in our lunch boxes.

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Harmless Harvest coconut water is costly but a lovely indulgence, presumably full of natural electrolytes – we drink it straight because it’s too delicious to mix with other things.

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Also in my fridge you’ll find random items like roasted beets, a batch of cooked farro or wheat berries for serving cold as a salad in lunches, homemade beans (pimento, garbanzo, red kidney or white navy beans) to mix with brown rice or serve cold with a vinaigrette.

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The chicken on the bottom shelf represents a lot: salted & roasted with fingerling potatoes for dinner, a quick gravy from the drippings; panko-crusted baked “nuggets.” If there are any leftovers the kids will take chicken salad sandwiches for lunch.

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I often buy organic parts (wings, drumsticks, feet, necks) for stock that I use in soups, stews, and as the liquid for cooked grains.

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Recently tried making my own almond milk (see photo) and although it was sublimely creamy, it was a bit of a hassle to do on a regular basis. Plus, the “nut bag” could not be taken seriously.

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My husband and I are not seafood fans so in order to get the kids a regular dose of healthy oils (outside of the panko-crusted fish sticks I make now and then), I supplement their diet a couple of times a week with Nordic Naturals fruit-flavored Cod Liver Oil.

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It’s a little gross but they’ve been eating it by the half-teaspoonful since infancy so they don’t think much of it. They also take a probiotic regularly.

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 Because dairy is my greatest weakness, elsewhere in my fridge you’ll find a very hearty cheese drawer stuffed with at least 6 varieties at any time.

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In my freezer are many of the usual suspects: frozen Ezekial sprouted grain English muffins (great toasted & slathered with almond butter and honey, but may explain my husband’s penchant for grabbing hot ham & egg sandwiches in the city before work), a backup supply of chicken stock and my collection of accumulated chicken parts for the next batch; leftover cannellini beans, Trader Joe’s Panang curry, and Niman Ranch uncured bacon. Berries or pineapple as fodder for future smoothies. And, of course, brie to be served warm with apricot jam because you can’t have too much cheese.

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no. i didn’t get a boob job for christmas…

February 7, 2014

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contrary to my new, 2014 curves, both up north and down south, i did not get breast implants for christmas.

i was pregnant though.

a week before christmas hunkiest and i saw two pink lines on the drugstore purchased test….6 tests if i’m to be honest….the skeptic in me needed to be sure….the overacheiver in me needed the affirmation….hunkiest was overjoyed and relieved…elated that our family was growing; alleviated he was now off the hook for that stella mccartney fold-over tote i had been expecting under the tree…instead we were expecting our christmas present in august.

last week in an ultra sound i was told there was no baby.

no specific reason was given to us; the doctor said my body made a decision for me my “mind might not have been able to make.”

i was prepared for this; told people, when i was unable to keep my exciting, happy news a secret, “now, it IS early, and i AM 37,” as if i was steadying them and me for this inevitable, stinking event.

i cannot lie and tell you that there isn’t a part of me– an unhinged, irrational part, the subdivision that shows up late at night questioning logic and serenading golden retrievers, who sometimes wonders if maybe i jinxed myself into this mess.

i won’t lie, this stings; packs a little more spank as time progresses.

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i ride on the swing-set of glum and good. mostly good, but i never know when a case of the sad will set in.

yesterday i bit into my banana only to discover its less than ripe constitution. i went from composed to crumpled up on the kitchen floor in a matter of seconds.

mr. banana it’s impolite to deceive a girl with raging hormones. there are some things in this world we need to count. bananas are one of them! 

produce aside these days sometimes i can taste sorrow even in an ice cream cone.

i know it will pass, and it’s not all of the time.

each day is a little sunnier; even when the raindrops fall outside.

girl scout cookies help.

as does knowing house of cards signed on for a third season; february 14th can’t come soon enough.

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my boyfriend jeans have officially broken up with me.

{i still sport a 13-week pregnant body; once i get my on head straight, god/the universe and i will be having a roundtable discussion on fairness.}

there’s a denim rinse in a santa claus cut i’ve been courting online, so keep your fingers crossed for us.

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it’s hard to be heavyhearted with these two faces administering round-the-clock-care to me.

it also doesn’t hurt that i have the greatest parents on earth.

my friends and my colleagues, although my co-workers ARE my friends and pseudo family; these people have been sick with compassion and support. it’s like they can’t help but ooze out all this love and gooey kindness from their pores, and it just drips and spurts everywhere, all over the people in their life, lately me, making the world a better place–really you guys need to get this checked out by a dermatologist. it’s almost gross.

you all know who you are, and i am nothing without you.

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and of course, my husband, you oily-bohunk you.

you really do make all those bradley cooper’s and ryan gosling’s look like scrawny, stay-in-the-dugout, third-string players. love is not a strong enough word for how i feel about you.

for us, yes, it is a private time, and i’ve been hesitant, and on the fence about sharing my story, but i believe when life delivers meals you didn’t order, bites that feel like shards of glass when you swallow, it always helps to know that someone else has had to wolf down a similar, barbed chunk, and yet lived, laughed and loved to tell about it.

love,

katie

 

 

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wellness wednesday

February 5, 2014

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wednesday cheek to cheek’s to you m’loves.

i’m taking a little bit of a time out from work {more on that later,} but i wanted to drop by, and share one of my newest, most-beloved finds.

remember when i got all simba on your faces?

courtesy of this lovely piece of blonde honey?

well along with the conversion to the miracle of milk o’magnesia, misha also introduced me to the wonder of marula oil: my new holy grail for face moisture and overall, maybe she’s born with it, glow.

with a higher lever of anti-oxidants and omega 9 {fatty fish acid-the good kind that fights wrinkles} than any argan or grapeseed oil, along with the obvious sunscreen, marula oil is my new weapon in the anti-aging arsenal—the ever growing, honey i think we need an addition to the house arsenal.

NEVER greasy, it plumps, moisturizes, and hydrates my face, eyes, neck and lips…i’ve even put it in my hair…thinking of using it on my toast too.

picture_wildeven better than making your wrinkles disappear,—and trying to put my vanity aside for 30 seconds–i’ll try not to die,—-is helping the women in east africa {obviously NOT every east african woman–this isn’t a disney movie people,} but when you buy marula oil you help those who actually harvest the marula fruit from their homes. marula oil production is a fundamental, viable, fountain of revenue for these women to provide for their families. so you can feel good about feeling narcissistic…i know i do.

if you’re in orange county you can buy marula oil from misha at holiday salon or at marula.com

have a luminous day m’loves.

signed,

the humanitarian

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if you need me…

January 31, 2014

afterlight

my head will be interred within the pages of this book.

see you on the other side of sunday m’loves.

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